i find it hard to believe you don't know the beauty you are

i think one of the biggest prices of modernity is the increasingly intricate set of anxieties that we must face as modern people. it's almost as if the solutions to each problem merely fractures it into further, smaller pieces. and as individuals, we are struggling to get a handle on these less perceptible issues while being lulled into a sense of comfort over our situation.

the problem arises when we look back at those who came before us and the questions they used to ponder. somehow our individual anxieties have become so minute and insignificant, which makes us feel all the more alienated from our mode of life. after all, there must be some problem with us if we always feel as if there is just a little something we are unable to cope with.

yet i believe that is the precise problem of our time: it's so difficult to compartmentalize what has already been fragmented. everyone feels a little lost at times, and in more unfortunate circumstances, entirely helpless to solve what are essentially easy problems. there are simply too many complications, too many little knots to get caught up in that we find it so hard to see that on a big-picture level, we are all doing quite alright.

perhaps that is wishful thinking on my part. after all, i'm still entirely tied up by something that feels so fundamental. but perhaps what i might be concerned with are simply micro-problems, and if i can embark on fixing them one at a time, i might eventually get to a better place.

but i suspect there are differences. in a world when so many things mean so little, we all struggle to affix value on things that seem abstract, in an attempt to avoid the deconstructive tendencies of modern life. perhaps then i am merely caught in a attempt to prevent what i think of us an overriding issue from being transformed into much simpler questions. we often forget that in order to get past a certain obstacle, on must not merely need the ability, but also the willingness. i feel as if i lack the willingness now to do what might solve part of the problem.