waiting on a sunday afternoon for what i read between the lines

far far away, in a little room, insignificant to anyone but myself. that's what i feel like now. move in has been great. and being in school is great too. i spent most of yesterday grinning like a jackass just happy to be here and knowing that somehow i've become part of something even greater that anything i've ever been in before.

but it gets so lonely here. i'm alright with it i guess. cos i am here to get an education, and if i make friends and have fun too, then great. but if not, then too bad. joined united mileage plus upon advice of a fellow singaporean freshman, which kinda represented to me a desire to fly home. i'm not homesick just yet, cos the first few weeks should be no problem to me. i'm used to living with other people, i'm open to new stuff and everything's been so amazing. but in the quiet hours, it does get a bit much sometimes. 8000 miles or thereabouts from home. that's a huge number. who knows how much further i am from people i care about or people who care about me?

i had an argument with my mom yesterday, cos my dad screwed up my home computer, which, since i am not there to fix it, means we can't video conference through MSN. and i hope she knows that i wasn't angry, just so frustrated and disappointed cos i badly wanted to see them. not because i'm missing them badly, but just because i want to be able to.

my roommates are still sleeping. there's a math book next to me on the right because i have a placement test in 4 hours. there is a huge wonderful lake behind me. and a huge wonderful city to the north. but right now, i just want to be back home to tell some people everything will be alright. and that i will miss them. failing that, i'll drown myself in sad music.

and i'm not even feeling sad or homesick. i just feel fortunate and rested, and as such felt like telling it to people i should have cared about more, and people i wished cared about me more.