what's the point of holding on to what never gets used

so the death cab concert last night was generally lackluster, but i have some newfound appreciation for their new album, which i suppose is good. 'cath...' is quite a great song, very simple and in my current appreciation for weddings as such interesting events, particularly enjoyable. 'no sunlight' is catchy and quite nice to hum along to. i do think their 8 minute single is entirely self-indulgent. it's not like wilco's 'spiders', which has a great payoff after like 5 minutes of relative monotony. 'i will possess your heart' is just entirely uninspiring.

i do really like 'your new twin sized bed', which provided the title to this post. i like the idea of how our possessions tend to reflect an idealized version of our lives. like how i have 3 different scents, as if it made me more unpredictable. and how i have a guitar, as if it made me musically-inclined. my big fucking bookcase to preempt all the nonsense i would buy to fill it. and yes, my twin-sized bed, which is not meant for double-occupancy despite it's moniker. if i had to share it with anyone, i subconsciously meant it to be a temporary arrangement. so i asked myself: now that this temporary arrangement has lapsed, am i more comfortable sleeping in it alone again?

the dust is settling again in my life. yes, there are a bunch of papers i have to write, but i feel like it's the emotional humps that need greater effort to crest, and i hope i've managed to crest them. the loneliest sets back in, i get used to it again, and the cycle continues. but yes, real friends stick around, and it's easy to recognize who they are in these lulls.