a little bit of resolve is what i need now

having absent-mindedly turned off shuffling for my winamp, i distractedly listened through the latest ben folds (songs for silverman), coldplay (x&y), clem snide (end of love) and half of the foo fighters (in your honor) before realising that shuffling was off. and i realise how much i love this chunk of my playlist.

in the last few hours i've obsessed over the online course catalog for chicago, and trying to figure out whether i can even do a second major in film and realising that it would only be possible if i place out of math and language. so i'm beginning to realise how lousy this situation is. and annoyed at how chicago refuses to accept the SATIIs as an indication of mathematical ability. so by the first week, i'll pretty much know whether i will be able to do what i really want, or whether i'll be stuck doing what i have to do.

but such is life. and such is the reason why i will be forced to spend a significant amount of my remaining 14 days studying for tests. math i can do. it's a matter of going over my JC math notes and trying to figure out what they mean. and i only need to do about half of it anyways. chinese is troublesome. my name is pretty much all the chinese i can still remember how to write, considering how i haven't actually used written chinese since sec 4. irritating that. i might actually have to go find my old vocab handbooks to mug.

and meanwhile, there are so many things i promised myself i would do before i left (photo tour of beautiful singaporean places, making a list of singaporean foods to eat and actually eating them, saying goodbye properly to people and making time for myself to come to terms with everything in my life) and i won't be able to do most of it. this afternoon, as i headed out to city hall to conduct yet more pre-departure business, i was trying to tell myself how short 9 months will pass and how sooner than i know it, i'll be back in singapore. which is sheer bullshit as far as i'm concerned. but i've believed more incredible things, so maybe time will fly and i will miss this place less than i thought.