i'm the one who's gonna fall apart

well. just when i thought things were bearable they became not. typical really.

MINDS was pretty fascinating. i did some stuff with them before in sec 1 or 2, but that was part of the whole RI linkup, and it was entirely impersonal. today it was really somewhat different. i wouldn't say that now i know alot better, but there was something.

mainly it was aaron ng, the executive director of MINDS, who made a real impact on me. he used to be a military man, then foreign affairs, and in his own words took up social work to "atone for his sins". sounds entirely flippant had it come from a less passionate man, but i believed him. religion has it's powers to make people do pretty strange things and this doesn't even come close to being that weird. and i liked him entirely, aaron ng, with his warped sense of humour and all.

if there's one thing about PDC that i even remotely enjoy, it would be how close it brought me to a bunch of interesting characters. but then again, it's especially painful when people around me don't seem to share in how powerful some of these moments should really be. there are so many choice words i have that i obviously cannot share, but i am frustrated. and i guess that's the deep rooted discontent that has been bugging me the entire time.

i am an idealist, deep down beyond all the cynical nonsense i actually do care about how the world is. and if there is one thing i am, i am grateful, for so many things. really. the opportunities that have come my way have been amazing, and much as i would like to just gloss over them, it has been amazing, this whole entire journey from day one when i was born. goodness i have no idea why i'm typing all this down, perhaps cos i'm groggy from sleep. it hurts when i realise that most people take so much for granted that nothing seems to get through to them ever. the sense of wonder is so lost upon our generation and that is so unfortunate.

but what would i know? i'm just a sour neither boy nor man trying to make sense of so much that sometimes seems to just defy understanding.