make the moves up as i go so no one else can play

on a sunday morning, feeling a little dehydrated and a little unwell, staring at the lake breaking along the shore. this is the place to be, yet the place i want to escape from the most. i realised that in about 2 and a half months, the rotation of the earth around the sun has caused a huge change in the sunrise. the sun used to appear right out of the horizon directly in front of my room window. now it seems to drift up above the smoke stacks of gary, indiana. so even the world changes. what is east and what is west? what is right and what is wrong?

60 pages of fairbanks to be read. a 3 page script to learn for drama class. art critique. books to read for my final paper. is this the life? i saw the play "hotel cassiopeia", which attempts to deconstruct the life and work of collageist Joseph Cornell. the result was a visual cornucopia, of sights, sounds and movements that attempted to create a surreal piece of work. there are moments in the play which i felt we extremely powerful, the brief moments of clarity that one gleans from the near incomprehensible ways the writer and director had employed to tell the story of the little objects that make up Cornell's work. the theme that recurs is the question as to how we can break up each person's life into comprehensible parts, when the whole is often difficult to understand.

so what makes up a life? that's the question i was left with last night. strangely enough, it is a question i have pondered for so many years. the resonance was deafening. so i came home and drank. to my two good friends who provided company, i say thank you. at fleeting moments i can tell myself that there are people who give a damn. but then again, are these fleeting moments enough? in the grand scheme of things, each person is an entity divided from all others, floating through the blackness of space and trying our best to reach out to one another. and in the few moments when the entities actually touch, we all should be amazed.

the earth is so so small, and we are so much smaller. who are we to fight the currents and method of the universe?