i desperately need this quarter to come to an end. things are just going so badly right now that i really just need a step back to relax, even if it means working 8 weeks in an office as long as it's not school. the way things are going, this quarter's results will prove far from spectacular. i was trying to check my bio midterm score but it wasn't up, which is now prompting a variety of paranoid suspicions that my midterm was lost and i'm going to get a zero on it. need that A for the bio really badly. analysis looks like a lost cause this quarter, even though i'm starting to do well again for the homeworks. econ is just crazy now. i have no idea what's important or not in that class, and i'm not doing well either. SOSC is probably the only class i'm remotely confident in, mainly cos i did well for the first paper even though i know i could have written a better one.
i have no idea why i let school results bother me so much. maybe cos for my whole life, it has been important for me to do well in school. i suppose academics was my way out of what my life would probably have become if i wasn't somewhat clever. and as much as i can keep telling myself how everything will be fine, and there are other things more important, both of the above statements are half-truths, if not outright contrary to reality.
the other thing is the apartment, which is looking like it will be a lot of work and way too much money than i can afford furniture-wise. i'm cursed with the taste for nice things while not having the pocket to back it up. spring break was kind of like that, and now the apartment looks like it will have to be an endless cascade of settling for something less than what i want.
to reiterate, i need a break. the depression is not waning, and the weight of living is bearing down on me more and more. in other news, who wants to go see coldplay on the 10th of July in Singapore?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment