as a homage to the 25 things fad going around on facebook, some random facts about me that arises from being a little inebriated on a monday night:
1) i have panic attacks. many small ones. they are not usually crippling, but they happen.
2) i oscillate between really wanting to be married and wishing i would stay single for the rest of my life. ironically, both stem from a desire for companionship, just of a different type.
3) i think too much. most of you already know this probably, but it might be shocking what kind of things i think about. for example, today, i thought about who i would want to be my groomsmen if i were to be married soon (see above).
4) i'm obsessed with word count when i write. i habitually press alt-c while i'm writing essays, to the extent that even when i'm not writing in microsoft word, such as while blogging, i'll alt-c and feel surprised that nothing happened.
5) as a corallary to number 3, i'm also worried about ridiculous things. for example, i'm deathly afraid of developing an allergy to alcohol, and tonight, i was struck by the thought of how unfortunate it would be to find out 3 months late, owing to lack of contact, that someone i used to be close to had died.
6) as the fear of alcohol allergy might suggest, i feel like i have an alcohol dependency. that is not to say that i'm an alcoholic, but alcohol definitely plays a signficant part in the range of coping mechanisms i have for life.
7) a natural follow-up: the best birthday present i've ever received is a bottle of johnny walker blue, courtesy of some wonderful people here in chicago. it's also one of very few birthday presents i've ever received.
8) completing small, insignificant household tasks gives me the greatest satisfaction. doing laundry makes me feel civilized, baking easy things like cookies and brownies makes me feel clever and grocery shopping makes me feel organized. and still i don't do nearly enough of any of this.
9) i fear that some people can actually read minds. when i think bad thoughts, i frequently follow them by thinking "stop reading my mind, you asshole!", just to show mind readers how i feel they are intruding on my privacy.
10) i hate people who are sure about anything. i make it a point to argue the opposite whenever i feel like someone is being smug about some belief. unfortunately, this makes me sound very pompous. i promise i really am not. i'm just trying to share my insecurity with all of you.
11) i have an unhealthy obsession with the end of the world. ask me about the various scenarios that are in the works to destroy us all, and i guarentee you that you will be shocked. i also have a secret fear for whimsical apocalyptic scenarios, like zombies, and intelligent, angry bears (my personal favorite).
12) the above is owing entirely to my steady habit of history channel junk for the past 3 years. watching that channel always feels a little like rubber-necking: i should be concentrating on other things, but boy do i have a morbid curiosity for what is going on. as an aside, my history channel watching made me feel happy today, because when steven levitt spoke about the vice lords and the black disciples, i actually knew what he was talking about.
13) i think that stupid people have stupid friends. i really don't have anything to justify that statement, but i think that it must be true.
alright, a little more than halfway. perhaps tomorrow, i'll finish up, and maybe post this on facebook.
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