is this what life and love is all about? i think i think so

people, and by this i mean everyone, and not just a thinly disguised way of talking about myself, are all somewhat unpleasant. i think hobbes had a better characterization of humanity than smith or rousseau, and if left to our own devices, we are all pretty much going to be huge assholes to each other.

so what makes all of this possible? this whole friendship and love thing? now this might be arguing things backward, but i believe that the meaning that we ascribe to human relationships are externally imposed. that is to say, we value companionship not because of some internal need, but because of an external order. for the longest time, we've been told to value friendship, love and all that other stuff, and we become socialized into it. it reinforces itself, in that overt expression of friendship and love inspires others to seek out companions.

it's pretty obvious to me why this process has endured: durkheim was a little too optimistic. organic solidarity is just not as strong as he might have assumed. in the extreme division of labor, we really are alienated, but not from our labor as Marx might say, but just from each other. none of that class consciousness stuff. just individuals, doing what they have to do, without really having to care for another person unless he is told that it is somehow a universal good for him to behave in a certain way with respect to other people.

so we set aside our unpleasantness to reach out to each other. some even come to believe that companionship is the ultimate goal in life. what we don't realize is that we don't necessarily have to. loneliness is but something that has been generated by external pressure, a regulating mechanism to prevent us from all just killing each other. but knowing that, we all have the power to really determine what it is we are content with.

i really believe that now, and because of that i'm happy. so go ahead and be an asshole to me; i don't need to care. but if you want to be nice and reach out, i'm more than ready to accept that too.

i suppose that is a long and convoluted way of just saying that i had a good time last night, despite everything. every social occasion is a barometer for how i'm doing, and i think i'm doing well. they are also good measures of who my friends are, or could be, and that's always a great bit of information to have.