i've driven in the dark with echoes in my heart

the last 22 hours of 2006. i went to look at my first posts of 2006, and realised that i was feeling somewhat pessimistic. i remember though that the pessimism was very much directed at a very specific event, and i suppose it was a misplaced apprehension.

the one thing that hasn't changed is how arbitrary this still all seems. especially with the seasons and the school year, it just seems like another artificial milestone that is more artificial than most. there is nothing about 2006 that differentiates it from any other year by pure virtue of that number. but then there are so many things about 2006 that makes it different from another frame of 12 years. there is a certain conflict in that, the concept and the definition of a year. okay, i'm not making sense.

so let's do something else. resolutions perhaps? resolutions i will never keep, but nonetheless wish to make in order to signal some sort of intent:

i resolve to be more patient, especially to people who deserve it and even to some who don't. definitely no promises here, but i really really want to be. if there is one flaw about myself that i wish to single out (and i know there are many more), this would probably be it.

i resolve to be slightly less responsible. i am so caught up with making the right decisions and doing the smart thing that i tend to miss out on a lot of little things that make life more interesting. that is somewhat cryptic and vague, but that's just the general feeling. i want to be more spontaneous, more uninhibited, more open. and i will try to be.

i resolve to work harder, so that i will have no excuse not to do the best i can and i won't.

i resolve to tidy my room a little bit more, something i will try to do tomorrow.

i resolve to spend less money.

i resolve to be a better person. now that last one is obviously crap, but hey, it's a signal of intent that's important here right?

i suppose that's all. and somehow, the feeling which prompted this post has disappeared, and it turned out a lot lighter than the title would suggest. i shan't change it though. there are echoes in my heart, and somehow, i feel as if most of these are of good things. 2007 will be a good year. i can sense it.