and i just can't pull myself away, under her spell i can't break

so in keeping with my tradition of writing everything other than what i'm supposed to be writing (in this case, my stratification midterm), here is a bunch of random observations:

first, i like hip hop now. i don't know how it happened, but somehow i do. i've been listening to nothing but kanye, akon, ne-yo and chris brown for the last 24 hours. my criticism that hip hop sounds entire alike still stands, but somehow i don't quite mind anymore. i can only choose to interpret this as another sign of my impending transformation into someone else. more on that in a bit.

second, there's this 25 things craze going on on facebook, and as a consequence of the fact that these things keep popping up on the newsfeed, and that i'm a professional procrastinator (it's really the one thing i do more than anything else, so it's in fact my true occupation by some definitions), i've found out things about various acquaintances that i will now have to not mention if i ever see/speak to them, so as not to appear to be a stalker.

at first, i wasn't sure what to think about this whole 25 things thing. i suppose it was a little annoying at first, not least of which because no one has tagged me, which makes all my reading of their 25 things illicit, and says something about how uninterested in me people are. but that's just self-centered nonsense. what i did decide is that it is interesting, because 25 is a large number. i think somehow, it's meant to force people to say awkward, difficult things about themselves, because it seems like a "safe" space to do that. what i do hate, is people who call it a meme. please read up the definition of that, and see whether you still think it qualifies. this is a medium, not the message (mcluhan be damned!).

third: there are things that we should take to our graves, like important secrets, and privileged information. add awkward sentiments to that list. just because you feel unhappy and hence a little malicious isn't a good reason to simply tell someone brutally honest things about what you feel. i did that, and i sort of regret it, because it hasn't made anything better, not even for me.

and last, this whole business about me turning into someone else: i feel like i frequently need to reinvent myself in some subtle ways. i feel such secret glee when people tell me i've changed, or when people don't recognize me (either physically, or just in terms of the person i seem to be). i try to play it off, but it's something i consciously do. like: now i'm going to be this person that does these things, have these opinions, wear certain articles of clothing, and use certain phrases, etc.

over time, i've cycle through these things, so in the long-run, there is probably some kind of average personality i have that people who have known me for ages would know, but otherwise, i can be quite ineffable. well, no, that was a facetious use of the word. okay, i'm making a point, since "ineffable" and "facetious" are just words i've decided to toss in my current vocab, because that's the kind of person i want to be now, a person who uses words like that.