so the internship is almost done. took the bus home and read half a play. walked to the hawker centre at holland village that i so rarely patronised. bak chor mee and a bowl of sea coconut with nata de coco to go. just as i'm getting used to this life it's time to leave home. why am i built this way?
there are some things to come to terms with. oddly i'm leaving behind so little yet feel like i would be tied to so much. perhaps subconsciously, my decision to not return next summer is nagging me. perhaps i shall come home for a while. after all, it is only proper. like harry potter maybe i need to recharge my protection every once in a while lest i totally crumble. i'm not afraid to leave. i'm just afraid of who i will become the longer i stay away from home.
so back to pinning my hopes on song lyrics that i don't even believe. i hate being cryptic about things. but this is good training though, for hiding my feelings. not that i have anything to hide. it's so patently obvious what i want, but then if it doesn't align with the intentions of another, then it would be much better to pretend it was merely familiarity playing havoc with our eyes.
i'm looking forward to packing. that's something i can handle.
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