everything i try to do, nothing seems to turn out right

this blog title obviously is incorrect. i suppose it applies only to those things that matter.

i realize that i must be a bad person if so many other people have that opinion of me. i think that changes a lot of things. first of all, the way i judge everything must change. everything i find to be abhorrent is probably acceptable to most people, while things i find good not so. self-censorship should be in order, to avoid offending the sensibilities of others.

okay i realize also that having said that, i have very little else to say. urgh. i need to feel vindicated i suppose. as much as things are going well, so much is also going badly. it's almost as if after having decided to stay here for another year, my life has decided to rebel against this decision and am now causing me endless grief. does that mean that i have made the wrong choice? it's almost as if i have to persuade myself that i like this place on a daily basis, and i have had to do that so rarely before.