and all the roads we have to walk are winding

so instead of doing work, which is important right now, i am just sitting around being confused. my apartment's air-conditioning just turned on, so at least i'll be getting a good night's sleep. but only after i finish my paper. as usual, i've decided to take a break (not like i really started working) from writing to write. urgh.

i'm going to make up a list of songs that'll make up the playlist i'm going to loop all the way back to singapore. slowly. i'll start with a few:

oasis' "wonderwall": there's something just so strange about this song, and how much it comes to define a particular type of music which i enjoy. it's not really very typical of oasis. it's one of their songs that just don't carry much swagger, but somehow it is almost sincere, even though the lyrics are total crap and probably meaningless. it's like those words you say when you are just a little tipsy, but not drunk enough to be either confused. i'll be listening to this song for a long time to come.

foo fighters' "walking after you": i think like quite a few people, this was the song that first clued me in to foo fighters. this was back in the days of napster, so i went out and downloaded a couple more songs, but didn't think much about it. can't remember when it was exactly when i got into nirvana, and subsequently realised nirvana's drummer was actually a great singer. and since then, foo fighters really have become quite a favourite of mine.

coldplay's "clocks": when i first heard this on their second album, i just instinctive knew that it would be one of their biggest songs ever. technically accomplished, lyrically quite poetic and somehow still simple. all that stuff, and basically it's a great song to listen to. it won record of the year i think, and it's pretty obvious why i think.

clem snide's "something beautiful": my favourite song from them bar none. such a wonderful sound, with a beautiful rhythm that just makes you want to move. and now that the band has essentially reformed, and the two(!) new albums that have been completed are sitting in record-label-limbo, this song will just have to do. not that i'm complaining.

semisonic's "closing time": honestly, the one and only song by them that i, or most people for that matter, have heard. it's really strange how an act that is really otherwise quite unremarkable comes up with a song like this, which ends up being endlessly repeated on poignant tv or movie moments and forever earn a place in the collective psyche of a generation. still, awesome song and quite appropriate.

let's go off on that last thought. leaving chicago this time is really like closing a chapter of a book. or perhaps a book in a series. kind of like harry potter, when harry goes home for the summer and does the stuff that is somewhat irrelevant to the story at hand. the story at hand, my life in chicago, has just about finished its second phase, and going home now is pretty much a subplot to a much larger story. no doubt it would be nice to see all my friends again, but there will be so many more to miss as well.

what can i do in the meantime? it's as if all the goodbyes are beginning to be said, and we can't pretend summer's not just around the corner. 2 school days, 3 final exams, 2 term papers, 2 short papers, and a couple of problem sets. that's all there is left to do. daunting not in its challenge, but in the brevity of the time i have left to savour it all. in some ways, i know i'll be glad to be back here again in a few months. for one thing, i know i'll really really miss the view.